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gtarslave3459
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Name: Jack
Country: United States
State: Texas
Metro: Houston
Birthday: 2/8/1991
Gender: Male
Interests: Drawin, Watching Trigun or M*A*S*H, Eatin sweets, Listenin to Rock/Metal/Blues, Led Zeppelin, Iron Maiden, AC/DC, Halo 2, Monty Python, Spaceballs, guitar,GUITAR,GuItAr,gUiTaR, GUITAR!!!!!!
Expertise: Can't you freakin' read? GUITAR!!!!!!
Occupation: Artist
Industry: Art
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  Gtarslave3459
Member Since:
2/8/2005
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| I just found this the other day. Pretty surprising really. Anyone still use Xanga?
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| What do you do when the people you love are split down a line that you can't simply walk in the middle of?
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| As paths on the journey of life continually cross each other, people
must make more and more decisions to prevent themselves from going
"astray". On the other hand, all that's just a metaphor, not to mention
that "astray" is only a point of view severely controlled by
interpretation. Taken as-is, though, one must sometimes (to keep on
their own perception of the right way) leave some things behind,
however enticing they might be, to travel another path, even if they
can never return.
It is in my own interests of acheiving my
perception of good that I now attempt to cease taking a passive role in
anything and everything. However, a few things seem to be needed to
form the hammer behind the nail of success.
One thing that
must come first and foremost is putting others before myself. Luckily,
it seems to be easy enough: I already value my friends at a much
loftier worth than I, but the problem is how I show that through
action. Being good to the people around you can so easily be affected
by apathy. bias, pride, and so many other emotions that good seems like
a mirage, a dream that disappears after another hundred staggering
footsteps in one direction across the barren waste. Surely some
measures must be taken to secure one's own health, but here, where
there is plenty, what constitutes selfishness? On occasion I have
thought horribly of myself for not sharing a bite of a simple snack
with a friend, which in the end is minute no matter what the decision,
but moments later I turn my eye to getting in a rut and selfishly
ignoring my friends who are in need far more than I will ever be.
On the note of being selfish comes the note of self-esteem. There was a
time when I dared consider I might be able to achieve some level of it
without becoming arrogant, and many voices seconded an opinion of a
"pleasant win-win", but my own observations have shattered that notion.
As soon as I believe I have ability in any one area, I begin to partake
in acts that disgust me, and that will continue unless I reverse my
direction of thought. But on the other hand, no self-esteem can put me
into another selfish rut which will also in some way put me off my
desired path, making it difficult to locate the middle ground when the
terrain is all uneven.
When all is said and done, hindsight
kicks in, but before words are spoken or actions are taken, a motive
sets those things in motion. Some feel the need to be important, or
loved, which is often a nagging doubt of mine. Being loved can be
measured (and mis-measured) in so many ways that seeking aknowledgement
seems unmeaningful to the lonely, and those that are lonely are rarely
saught out. After all, why work to improve But then again, a feeling
of self-importance is arrogant, and trying to make yourself feel that
way is in its own right selfish, but once again, the lack of this
feeling can cause manic-depression to switch to its latter, uglier
state and promote a self-centered agony which never helps and often
hurts.
On this battleground of contradictory actions and
reactions, futility and failure are the only sure results if one final
charge cannot be mounted, if one final cry cannot be roused, if one
final shout of "FORWARD THE CAVALRY!" cannot be
raised.......figuratively, of course.
So hopefully, all reason
and rhetoric can be spared and the problems will eventually be solved,
since I'm beating them back and forth like so many blows on forged
steel. In the event that they can't though, offer some insight, as I'm
sure if you've read all the way to this point that you're far, far
wiser than I.
On the final ending note, the greek word "mor"
has the same meaning as the english word "fool". And as often as the
one-track expanse of my mind is ready to utter the words "Mi amore",
I can't help but think that the ancient civilizations long-past are
giving me a warning, or playing a prank on me....they knew full well I
wouldn't heed their little message. | | |
| I would be a better person as a Eunuch. | | |
| My heart aches
for the girl
whose face could
send a shiver
down my spine
at a mere sight.
For the girl
whose lips stir
a mad desire
a love so strong
it is kin
to madness.
For the girl
whose eyes
shine back their colors
a thousand-fold,
a prism of joy
to my soul.
For the girl
who, with a smile
so bright
she could make the sun
bow his head
in shame.
And for her
when I have honed
the stone of my soul
to the finest point,
someday
I may deserve her.
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